Sunday, 27th September 2020

Woman who seeks joy in the little things is an insufferable prick

A WOMAN capable of finding wonder in all life’s hidden gifts is an absolutely unbearable tosspot. 

Since becoming aware of the magic and joy of every moment in this marvellous world, Nikki Hollis has exhausted everyone around her by reeling off trite phrases about the delight of the present moment and buying herself flowers.

Hollis said: “I can’t even relate to how I used to live. Never pausing to appreciate the magic in each key on my computer keyboard, the timbre of a tantruming child’s screams, the wonder that is salad dressing.

“Since I started following the advice of the inspirational quotes on my fridge, every second is individual and wonderful.

“From the moment my boyfriend said ‘I’m leaving you,’ to when my best friend said ‘Are you on f**king drugs?’ they’re all equally stunning. And now I have so much more time to be alone with my gratitude journal or to listen to the beat of my own heart.”

Ex-boyfriend Jack Browne said: “We’d go out for dinner and she’d close her eyes and tell me to be quiet so she could take in the experience of sipping her tap water. Then we’d have to watch the sunset. In Lewisham.

“I now appreciate every single second that she’s not with me. It’s beautiful.”