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FREE! Your Daily Mail special all-invective 48-page Meghan Markle hatred souvenir colour special

YES, free with today’s Daily Mail! – a 48-page colour special of Meghan Markle loathing to keep and treasure forever!

To go with your Royal Wedding, Royal Baby and Isn’t Kate Just Marvellous supplements, our writers have produced a new special containing full-spectrum hatred of the Duchess of Sussex from every angle. 

Published to commemorate the evil cow’s pyrrhic victory over our newspaper in court for which she will pay dearly, the special can be kept in your sideboard and leafed through to remind you how monstrous she is. 

The hatred includes: 

● Stephen Glover, writing about how despotic Meghan has crushed press freedom forever and is the new Stalin

● Royal correspondent Rebecca English, blaming Megan for the death of Prince Philip, the Queen’s frailty and the paedophile charges against Prince Andrew

● Sarah Vine, discussing how happy Harry will be when he dumps the vain Hollywood egotist and marries a nice English girl the tabloids approve of

● Piers Morgan launching into the same unhinged rant about Princess Pinocchio that boils down to him being ghosted by her after one drink five years ago

With this supplement you’ll be able to treasure your loathing of Meghan and hold it close to your heart until it becomes warped and twisted, just like we have. Includes a packet of free seeds.

Six iconic band names you'd never get away with today

IMAGINE the shitstorm if you tried calling your band Foreigner right now. Here are some that were acceptable at the time, but probably not anymore…

Joy Division

Naming your group after a nickname for female Jewish sex slaves in concentration camps apparently didn’t make Ian Curtis and co think ‘Is this a tad tasteless?’ Later changed their name to New Order which is better but still a bit Nazi.

Foreigner

A slightly baffling choice even back then, but completely unacceptable in today’s climate of xenophobia. It did open the door for that tired old joke about them ‘coming over here demanding to know what love is’ though, so it wasn’t all bad. Apart from the tedious AOR dirges they churned out, obviously.

10cc

A blatant, if disputed, reference to the volume of love custard deposited during a male orgasm. Ditto Pearl Jam. And The Loving Spoonful. Jesus, these musicians are obsessed with how much spunk they can produce, raising the suspicion that they’re all impotent.

Fatboy Slim

Today you’d get called out for body shaming as surely as if you’d called your DJ outfit ‘Bouncy Fat Girl’. Referring to people by their body mass index is a complete no-no, unless it’s your mum, who will loudly blurt out ‘She’s a chubby little thing isn’t she? She’ll never get a boyfriend’ during a school nativity play as you pray everyone around you briefly went deaf.

NWA

NWA’s moniker was hard to justify even in the 80s, but they were always complaining about harassment after making musical death threats to the police and the general population of Compton, so maybe logic wasn’t their strong suit. Still, people were strangely unbothered; you could get a ‘Swiggers With Attitude’ paper beer cup at Glastonbury.

AC/DC

Choosing to name yourselves after slang for bisexuality is somewhat incongruous in the pretend-macho world of heavy metal, with its Iron Maidens and Def Leppards. They could have been paying homage to both alternating and direct currents, but it’d be weapons-grade nerdy. Then again, they’re Australian, so anything is possible.

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