UNBEKNOWNST to him, a woman’s boyfriend is being evaluated on the skills and conduct he has demonstrated in the relationship so far.
Charlotte Phelps decided to carry out a review of boyfriend Joshua Hudson’s performance in the role as her future life partner by assessing areas including emotional availability, hygiene and willingness to put up with her shit.
Charlotte said: “Josh is doing okay at some things, such as attendance and replying to questions with more than one syllable, but there are some areas for improvement.
“Even though he said in the interview – first date, sorry – that he’s very spontaneous, he was clearly upset when I suggested we go out one night instead of him playing FIFA again.
“And his attentiveness could use some work given he hasn’t a clue why I’ve been asking him pointedly how he thinks loading the dishwasher just went or to rate our sex life on a scale of 1 to 10.
“I think I’ll put him on probation by being weird and distant for the next three months to see if he figures out what’s wrong. If he fails, he will be dismissed following a harrowing exit interview and a lot of highly critical feedback.
“Love is wonderful, but if the stakeholder doesn’t deliver on the actionable points, he must be terminated.”