A COUPLE has decided to stay married despite not really liking one another because online dating looks horrendous.
Emma and Tony Howard have agreed that however bad their marriage is, putting up it until one of them dies seems a better option than Tinder.
Emma said: “What I have with Tom is comfortable. It’s a comfortable level of loathing, and I’ve learned to zone out and ignore the constant urge to punch him in the face.
“But on Tinder, I’d be looking at an infinite gallery of f**kboys all of which I’d probably hate just as much, and even worse they’d be judging me. I can’t cope with that, not at my age.”
Tony agreed: “Those apps are a meat market. And I’m just not comfortable with sending strange women pictures of my penis immediately after saying ‘hello’. I don’t think it would get good reviews.
“Emma and I have come to a mutual understanding that if we can get through this until we’re dead, we’ll never have to look at each other’s faces again. That’s what keeps us going.
“And when I have an affair I’ll do it the way my dad always did: with someone from work.”