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Couples counsellor has a favourite

A COUPLES therapist has admitted she definitely has a favourite and it is the wife. 

Although counsellors are, like mothers, supposed to treat all parties equally, Dr Joanna Kramer has confessed she secretly prefers one party over the other and it is the woman who made the booking.

Couples therapist Dr Joanna Kramer said: “The key to effective therapy is me working out who instigated this. It’s usually the woman that shows a willingness to engage, an acceptance of fault and she’s paying the bill.

“So I subtly favour her, giving her more time to speak, guiding the conclusions, giving little clues of my impatience when he’s banging on about ‘no intimacy’ and ‘never having sex’. She soon picks it up.

“Before long it’s just a co-ordinated psychological assault on the husband, tearing him and his weak claim trauma made him go to strip clubs apart, leaving him in no doubt he’s a twat married to a goddess.

“Doesn’t fix many marriages, no, but I’m not paid on results and my whole profession is embedding myself in another couple’s rows so you have to take your fun where you can.”

Client Tom Logan said: “I showed up with a packet of custard creams. Both Jo and my wife looked at me with stony contempt.”

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Woman who told joke about men asked to imagine crazy, fictional world where roles are reversed

A WOMAN who told a joke at the expense of men has been instructed to imagine a bizarre fantasy world where instead women were the butt of cruel jibes.  

Francesca Johnson’s attempt at humour, which portrayed men as lazy, sex-obsessed pigs, prompted colleague Roy Hobbs to picture a make-believe world where womankind is regularly belittled by patronising humour, and how that would feel.

She said: “It really made me pause and reflect. A world where women were reduced to naught but stereotypes about their looks and behaviours for a cheap laugh.

“The joke I made may have relied on my personal observations, but was underpinned by an unspoken contempt of an entire gender. That’s where the so-called humour came from. The thought of applying such an approach to women? Sickening.

“Where could the cruelty of a gag like mine lead? Maybe it would create some sort of societal glass ceiling that men, however talented, however hard-working, could never get past. God, I’m glad I was called out. It would be awful if that happened to anyone.

“And yes, my witty remark about a predominantly male foible did indeed mean all men ever, both living and dead, are guilty of it. Roy was very shrewd to pick up on that.”

Hobbs said: “Imagine it, a back-to-front world where women are treated as compliant sex objects and if they argue they’re humourless shrews. I do, all the time.”

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