'Cuck' and other phrases that show your boyfriend's spending too much time on Reddit

HAS your boyfriend started talking oddly after spending too long on Reddit talking to male arseholes? If he uses these terms, it may be time for a relationship rethink.

Cuck

In manosphere parlance, calling someone a ‘cuck’ means you think they’re weak, unmanly and dominated by their female partner. It also signifies that the speaker is an almighty bellend who’s been having faux-macho chats with other twats online, and should be dumped immediately.

Mindset

This phrase is hugely popular with Andrew Tate and his obsessive acolytes, and describes a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world. Given that the Top G has now been in prison for several months accused of sex offences, your boyfriend will hopefully have seen the error of his ways and stopped using it to describe his approach to working on the tills at Aldi.

Simping

Simping means trying too hard to please someone, especially in a romantic relationship. If your boyfriend looks up from his phone and says ‘No chance, I don’t simp for anyone’ when you ask him to put a wash on for once in his f**king life, ditch him immediately so he can spend all his time with his true love: discussing the symbolism of The Matrix with incels.

On my grind

Being ‘on your grind’ means working hard and hustling constantly, usually in the pursuit of ridiculous aspirational status symbols like flash cars or ugly watches. However, given that your boyfriend is a content marketer trying to save up for a Renault Twingo, he just sounds like an almighty dickhead and should be treated as such.

Soy boy

Calling another man a soy boy is meant to imply they’re an effeminate weakling with a penchant for alternative milk products. Unfortunately your boyfriend is overweight, pale and can’t walk up the stairs without getting out of breath because he spends all day sitting at a computer, so he’s not the epitome of hypermasculinity either.

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Banksy rightly demolished

THE latest Banksy has been demolished, as all Banksys should be and will be from now on.

On learning that a new Banksy piece had been painted on the side of a derelict farmhouse in Herne Bay, Kent, authorities acted swiftly by destroying it and the building it stands on within 72 hours.

A spokesman for Kent County Council said: “No Banksys within our borders. That’s a promise.

“Whether it’s on the side of a convenience store or Canterbury Cathedral, if there’s even a hint of satirical stencilled graffiti making a fairly obvious point about society, our demolition teams will swing into action and down it goes.”

Arts Council head Darren Henley said: “Zero tolerance for Banksys. We’re getting rid of anything that even looks like a Banksy. Half of Shoreditch and most of Bristol will be rubble by the end of the day.

“He should be into it, given the greatest thing he ever did was destroy one of his own pictures. Because it’s all a load of old shit.”