A FIRST date has inexplicably escalated from stilted small talk to the height of physical intimacy, it has emerged.
Lucy Parry has somehow woken up naked in Jack Browne’s bed despite the fact that their preceding date was devoid of any physical attraction or the elusive spark she has been holding out for.
She said: “There was zero chemistry and Jack ‘let me’ pick up the bill, yet here I am. Make it make sense.
“We went through the motions of talking about our jobs and our siblings while pointedly keeping an eye on the time. Fast forward a couple of hours though and he’s doing me from behind while I’m screaming his name. Did I forget a scene in between where he seduced me?
“Maybe he was playing a clever mind game on me. By never asking me a question about my life and droning on about his crazy exes, perhaps he was subliminally making me aroused. Sounds nuts but it clearly worked.
“Or it could be because I’ve been in a three-year long dry spell and I’d gone to the effort of shaving my legs. Hard to tell, really.”
Browne said: “There’s no need to overanalyse it. My mediocre looks and poor social skills just drive women wild.”
