Saturday, 4th April 2020

How to change – or at least break – your romantic partner

CHANCES are the person you’ve chosen to be with isn’t as perfect as you. Here’s our guide to reworking them or, failing that, making them buckle to your will. 

Communicate every irritation 

Relationships rely on communication and when letting your partner know what you find annoying about them, more is more. How can they fulfil your very specific set of criteria if you’re not constantly reminding them how to chew cereal?

Never be afraid to tell them they’re wrong

Partnerships break down when you lack the courage to shout ‘YOU’RE WRONG’ in your loved one’s face. It can be hard to admit that your partner is at fault, but it’s the difference between a tolerable relationship and a glorious one in which you have total control.

Admit when you’re right

Just as important as undermining your partner is asserting your own incinvible righteousness. Never miss an opportunity to hammer home that you are winning this relationship.

Support them in making the right decisions for you

True love is about helping each another through the tough times – job changes, family issues, hangovers – so make sure your partner knows when it comes to big choices, they need to make the ones that benefit you.

Remember how all this started

Remember, you fell in love with the person you thought your chosen one could become, given the right high-level manipulation. Never give up on your conditional love.