A MAN can only become emotionally intelligent while listening to Bruce Springsteen songs, his partner has discovered.
Emma Bradford described Tom Logan as an ‘insensitive, lumbering cretin’, who is only able to discuss his relationship if he uses the allegory of Mary in Thunder Road or that girl from Hungry Heart.
She added: “He shows particular signs of compassion when the lyrics mention a car journey. And his tear ducts only become fully functional during the long talky bit on the live version of The River.”
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “We’re developing a picture-book, explaining the emotions in each Springsteen song, which men can use even if they’re not in within listening-distance of Born to Run.
“It’s a sort of ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ for the emotionally constipated.”