A MAN who invited a woman to his place for dinner is grimly buying an entire set of cutlery to supplement the perfectly good knife, fork and spoon he already has.
Tom Logan’s generous drunken offer to cook for Grace Wood-Morris soon foundered on the reality that he had only enough cutlery for one, forcing him to invest in enough for a whole family.
The 28-year-old said: “I knew I should have nicked the cultlery when I stayed in that AirBNB. But I was profligate and foolish.
“And why do they only sell them in sets? You’d think it would make sense to sell them individually given that for most meals you don’t even need all three, Pot Noodle for example.
“I considered doing a stir fry, because I’ve got a whole drawer full of complimentary chopsticks, but then I remembered that’s because I can’t eat with chopsticks. So I’ve had to bite the bullet and now I own four times more cutlery than any man needs.
“Together with the food and paying my flatmate £20 to clean the oven and another £20 to piss off out of it when she comes over, this is becoming quite the costly night. She’d better shag me.”
Wood-Morris said: “It was nice cutlery. But I had to sit on an office swivel chair.”