YOUR mother is calling her dog your brother, she has confirmed.
The dog, a two-year-old dachsund called Rolo, is now being treated as a son and apparently expects you to treat him as a beloved sibling.
You said: “His birthday’s a calendared event. She posted his card to me so I could sign it. This year I’m expected to get him a present.
“Maybe I enabled it by signing her Christmas present off from me and Rolo, but when she started calling him her son on Facebook it got dark. She phoned in floods when her ‘baby boy went off to school’. It was obedience class and she was there the whole time.
“My last visit I apparently didn’t greet him with enough genuine warmth. I was told how much he’d missed me, how offhand I was being, and that he just wanted to play. At dinner I’m sure he got given my pork chop.
“My Nana’s started down the same path. Does that make her miniature schnauzer my uncle? It has to stop, next thing I’ll be so far down the pecking order I might as well be my sister.”