YOUNG Britons are entering into three-way romantic and sexual relationships because they are a great way to keep rent and bills down.
Gen Z has confessed that going out with two people simultaneously is nothing but hassle, but a third income means a third person to split the cost of hummus with.
Marketing executive Sophie Rodriguez, 26, said: “I make out it’s a wild adventure in ethical non-monogamy, but in reality the most arousing part is we can afford three streaming subscriptions.
“Everyone imagines the three of us sharing a bed in endless new erotic configurations. Actually we’re snuggling for warmth. It’s less PornHub fantasy and more the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
“Plus two women on one dick means we get more nights off. What makes an ideal third? Mature, employed, solvent. Jayden has Tesco Clubcard points and a car. That’s a man worth going halves on.
“It’s a committed relationship, we’re paying council tax together. And there are never arguments about jealousy or trust issues, only about who used the last of the milk.”
Married man Julian Cook, aged 40, said: “I’ve been trying to persuade my wife to include a third in our relationship. But tragically, our earnings are high enough to comfortably pay the mortgage.”
