A WOMAN going on a romantic weekend with her boyfriend is praying he is not planning to ask her to marry him.
Nikki Hollis was surprised when Tom Booker announced he had booked a two-night break at a posh country spa hotel at short notice, but was soon gripped with dread at his possible motive.
Hollis said: “I’ve always wanted to go on one of these spa pamper weekends. He’s even arranged dinner at a very expensive restaurant, so for a second I was really excited.
“But then it struck me he might be planning to propose, which would be a disaster. I’m bored shitless with him to be honest, and was going to dump him until this happened.
“I’m probably just being paranoid so should really just go and enjoy myself. i can always chuck him a respectable couple of weeks afterwards.”
Booker said: “Nikki’s got beauty treatments in the afternoon, then in the evening I’ve paid for a string quartet to serenade us after dessert. Then I’ll force her into making a massive life decision by pulling out the engagement ring.
“I’ve planned the whole trip with military precision, so literally nothing can go wrong with this.”