Woman standing up to boyfriend soon to enjoy warm embrace of Tinder

A WOMAN who has finally stood up to her errant boyfriend will shortly be luxuriating in the warm, comforting embrace of a dating app. 

Sophie Rodriguez, aged 26, decided she was not being a doormat for Jack Browne any longer, particularly in regard to his not answering texts and flirting with other women, and believes their relationship will be all the better for it.

Rodriguez said: “He can only love me if he respects me and he can only respect me if I tell him everything wrong with him. This is a wake-up call he doesn’t just need but wants.

“You see it all the time in the movies – a woman stands up, tells her man he’s not respecting her emotionally, he realises what he’s about to lose and changes his ways just in time. This is exactly like that.

“I know Jack’s been unfaithful, and the money I lent him wasn’t for rent, and he wasn’t just ‘trapped in the work car park’ for eight hours on my birthday, but I also know he loves me and he sincerely wants to change, so it’s ultimatum time.

“Me and the girls discussed it and we’re sure this will work. The best relationship decisions are made drunk by consensus. Everyone knows men love it when you point out their shitty behaviour, backed up by examples and evidence. Tinder? No, not for me.”

Jack Browne said: “Well, the time’s come to move the f**k on. Tinder? Never left it.”

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I lied because I'm innocent, Baroness Mone explains

BARONESS Mone has explained that she instructed her lawyers to repeatedly lie about her involvement in selling faulty PPE because she is innocent of any crime. 

The Conservative peer, who made profits of £60 million from selling PPE the Department of Health says was unusable, only lied about it because she is not guilty in any way.

She said: “Yes, I paid lawyers huge fees to intimidate any newspaper that accurately reported that I was connected to PPE Medpro. Because that’s what the innocent do.

“When you’re as blameless in your business dealings as I am, you lie about it. You lie because you fear people won’t understand, just because the business in question is being investigated by the National Crime Agency. And sued for breach of contract.

“You lie about not being aware there was a VIP lane, when actually you were and jumped right in it. You lie about not receiving any financial benefit when £30 million’s been paid into your offshore trust. You lie about lying. Because you’ve done nothing wrong.

“And now I’m telling the truth about those lies, not due to being caught but due to my innate, irreproachable honesty, the public must believe me. Like when I say I didn’t buy a yacht with the money. Nobody has any cause to doubt that.”

She added: “It’s so hard being innocent and misunderstood. And rich.”