Friday, 14th May 2021

Woman takes any compliment as an insult

A WOMAN has the amazing ability to take any compliment given her and instantly turn it into an insult, her partner has confirmed. 

No matter how direct the compliment paid, 32-year-old Donna Sheridan can flip it around to become an unforgivable personal insult within less than a second.

Partner Tom Booker said: “The other day I said she looked fabulous in that dress. Quick as a flash, she said ‘Because it hides my muffin top, you mean.’

“If I say ‘You look lovely today’ she says ‘So I looked like shit yesterday, did I?’ If I compliment her make-up she replies ‘Yeah, cause without it I look like a f**king hag.’

“Last week, and I admit I was reaching a little, I compared her to Scarlett Johansson. She responded 'Great, so my eyes are too far apart, I’m aging badly and I’ve got a hook chin'.

Sheridan said: “To be honest any compliments Tom gives me just make me feel guilty, as I’m having an affair with our landlord.”