EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS have as little enthusiasm for coming to Earth as we do for visiting elderly relatives, it has been claimed.
SETI researchers have predicted contact with alien life by 2034, when aliens that have known about us for centuries arrive with a grudging sense of obligation.
Astronomer Tom Booker said: “Like when you visit your nan, ETs will only come because they expect us to be extinct quite soon, which would make them feel bad for not making the effort.
“To them, our philosophy is about as interesting and advanced as your nan’s thoughts on the woman in the bungalow across the road who’s let her tree grow too big.
“The feeling of having to travel millions of light years for a bit of stilted conversation and some cake with a race that knows precisely nothing keeps putting them off.
“They’d rather save their weekend for Barbarella-style psychic orgies, so ‘Earth trip’ is always delayed under some flimsy pretence of their entire fleet of spacecraft needing a service.”