Saturday, 8th May 2021

Angry greased python easier to dress than toddler

PUTTING clothes on a toddler is more difficult than putting them on a large slippery snake, experts have confirmed.

Researchers found that wrestling a 12ft Burmese python into a Peppa Pig T-shirt, joggers, socks and a pair of velcro-fastening shoes was far easier than doing the same with even the most co-operative two-year-old.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Scientifically toddlers are weaker and clumsier than adult humans, but become a roiling mass of muscle and agility whenever approached article of clothing.

“Especially hats. We found that we could make the python wear a sun hat for 15 seconds and a child for just 8.2, even though snakes haven’t even got ears to stop hats falling off. And it looked cuter.”

Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “I don’t dress them anymore. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

“They wear what they like. And once you get used to being in Sainsbury’s with one kid in a tablecloth and the other dressed as Chase from Paw Patrol, you’d be surprised at how many others there are.”