A PHONE with more processing power than our space-faring ancestors had access to has been defeated by a hot afternoon.
Tom Booker’s iPhone 15 Plus could effortlessly land a lunar module while simultaneously running Hinge and Spotify in other tabs, but has completely broken down after being exposed to 30-degree temperatures for ten minutes.
Booker said: “I don’t get it. Instantly loading all of human knowledge and pornography is okay, but a heatwave the rest of Europe would describe as mild is too much?
“Hasn’t technology progressed at all since the late Sixties? The computer banks at mission control might not have been able to generate emojis or send dick pics, but at least they could keep reels of tape whirring during balmy Houston summers.
“Meanwhile my pathetic phone starts freaking out when I ask it to take a photo, find my location on Google Maps and look up a Good Food recipe at the same time, all while the sun bakes its delicate circuits. It doesn’t make sense.
“Perhaps clutching my phone even more tightly in my sweaty hands and making it look up my childhood crush on Facebook will cool it down. I better tilt it towards the light for a better view too.”
Apple spokesperson Mary Fisher said: “Yes, old computers could guide spaceships, but they couldn’t keep you entertained while you take a dump. That’s the real giant leap for mankind.”
