THE O2 network collapsed over the weekend following the death of the labrador that powers its central hub.
Sparky, the company’s core dog, expired on Saturday after eight solid years of running inside a giant drum with an O2 employee holding a boiled pig’s ear just out of its reach.
As the network collapsed, representatives rushed to find a dog breeder that was willing to take O2 gift vouchers instead of cash.
Meanwhile customers received the message, “Technical Error: Labrador Malfootedness.”
An O2 spokesman said: “Media reports of widespread anger have been exaggerated. In fact not a single customer called or texted to complain.”
But services were disrupted again on Sunday when the replacement labrador slipped on a puddle of Sparky’s sweat, leaving the animal careering around inside the rapidly-spinning drum, barking in terror.
O2 customer Tom Logan said: “It’s beyond ridiculous. Labradors are clumsy, and notorious for heart problems.
“A husky would have been a much better choice, they’re agile and energy-efficient, you can run one for six months on a single bucket of blubber.”
A similar problem hit the T Mobile network in 2009, when one of the turtles harnessed to its underwater centrifuge lost a flipper.