Pope buys electric oboe

POPE Francis is to relaunch Christianity using state-of-the-art video software and an electronic wind instrument.

Add one mediem-sized Pope

Add one medium-sized Pope

Following the huge response to Richard Dawkins’ presentation on memes to an advertising seminar, the Pope said he was looking for the same kind of ‘psychedelic brain-shaft’ but using the Virgin Mary instead of hedgehogs.

Dawkins’ musical tour de force has become one of the most valuable contributions to the internet so far and, according to experts, will be used for years to come as an illustration of what happens when evolution really kicks in.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “At first you think, ‘oh shit, Dawkins has got out of the boat – he’s going to let religion back in the game’.

“And then you realise he’s playing them at their own game, but with YouTube. And, of course, his ‘Nintendo trumpet’.”

Theologian Dr Roy Hobbs added: “It starts off like a meth addict’s daydream and then it charms you and then it scares you and then it explodes inside your brain, sending bits of hedgehog everywhere.

“It has neither destroyed religion nor made it seem more credible. Rather it has inspired religion into realising that it needs to be even more unusual.”

A Vatican spokesman said: “If mind mutations are what the young people are into then we can certainly do that.

“Now, where would one purchase an electric oboe? And is it easy to play if you are an elderly Argentinean gentleman with fat little fingers?”