Seeing a thing makes you think about it, say experts

SEEING a picture of someone doing something makes you think about the thing they are doing, according to new research.

Scientists at the Institute for Studies have finally established that when human eyes see a thing the brain will often generate a thought that is in some way related to the thing that has just been seen.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “We applied the seeing-thinking forumula to smoking and found that it followed exactly the same pattern.

“We got a bunch of smokers together and showed them a picture of a cigarette. We asked them if this made them think about cigarettes and they all said ‘yes’.”

The research has been hailed by anti-smoking group ASH who say it will be a vital weapon in their battle to force film producers to pretend that smoking does not exist.

A spokeswoman said: “So called film-makers have been allowed to depict the existence of cigarettes and pipes for a scandalously long time.

“But what would you expect from an industry that is based in California?

“If we can ban smoking from films then it means we can start to make everyone the same and then organise them all into nice neat rows and make sure everything is just the way it’s supposed to be all the time.

“And then I can finally have a shit.”



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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
You’ve not been yourself recently, which explains why people can finally bear to be in the same room as you.

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Last week you inflicted grave damage on your political career by whining about ‘blood libel’. You know what you should do this week? Keep going on about it.

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Remember, it stops being a ‘prank’ when it requires the intervention of the British Consulate and £500k of hush money to cover the whole sorry mess up. Pranks shouldn’t require a gimp dungeon, either.

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
To die, to sleep – to sleep perchance to dream. Ay, there’s the rub! For in that sleep of death what dreams may come? I just hope the receptionist with the massive charlies is in it.

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
This week why not storm the office of the Mail on Sunday and see if you can somehow make it even worse? I’d bring a packed lunch if I was you.

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
I like big butts and I cannot lie. All you other brothers can’t deny when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung, wanna stick out your tongue, said sources close to Signor Berlusconi.

Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
This week urinate into a jam jar and place it in the office fridge, but not before labelling it with the name of your least favourite colleague. Who are they all going to believe? You or the dirty freak who keeps their piss in the fridge?

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
After reading the crossword clue ‘Physically aggressive behaviour (8)’, you realise that violence is the answer.

Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Seriously, you don’t look over 40. What are you, 36, 37 stone?

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
This week you will once again promise to try and read the first third of at least one news story about Tunisia.

Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
This week, why not express your disdain for ‘celeb gossip nonsense’ in an ad campaign after having appeared on one of the most egregiously awful reality TV shows ever?

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
This week you will be approached by a photographer who wants you to do a very tasteful, artistic set of nude photographs. Don’t worry, the donkey’s had all its shots.