‘Snooper’s Charter’ gives government powers everyone thought it already had

THE new draft of the ‘Snooper’s Charter’ will allow police to see all the internet data you assumed they could see already, it has emerged.

The bill means police and the security services can view your emails, search history, downloads and everything else it is widely believed they already had access to.

Helen Archer of Carlisle said: “So there was no need for me to use the code words ‘white goods’ when ordering cocaine?

“If only I’d known that when trying to hire a hitman on Gumtree, instead of using so many euphemisms I actually ended up getting my ex-boyfriend’s pictures framed.

“I am so doing some identity theft searches tonight. Unless the police are lying about their powers, but pretty sure they wouldn’t do that.”

Google has confirmed that they read and track absolutely everything you do online but will only sell that information on to paying advertisers of meth-making equipment.