BRITISH students have asked for their exams to be moved to when it is dark and pissing down.
The proposal has been signed by more than 60,000 students revising for GCSEs, A-levels and university qualifications while gazing longingly out of windows.
Psychology student Francesca Johnson said: “We’re young, energetic and attractive. This weather needs us out there playing volleyball in halter tops.
Instead were stuck inside reading textbooks, communicating with our equally isolated peers via shout-outs on Radio One.
The terrible irony is we are almost completely idle for the rest of the year.
The National Union of Students has lodged an official complaint with the UKs educational institutions, along with a motion to change the word ‘revising’ to ‘vising’ because nobody did the work first time around.
A spokesman for the Confederation of British Industry said: Do you think employers really want staff who know when the Corn Laws were abolished, or how to calculate the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle?
The real point of education is to train workers who can ignore every natural human instinct to drop everything the minute the sun is out.
Good luck to all the kids doing exams out there. Work hard now.