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Advert banned for implying children are normal

A SUPERMARKET advert has been banned for suggesting children like beef burgers more than lettuce.

The Advertising Standards Agency said a Morrison’s TV commercial was wrong to show a little girl behaving normally.

In the advert the girl is given a burger in a bun by her mother and then carefully removes the lettuce, onion and tomato because they are obviously getting in the way of the fantastically delicious meat.

An ASA spokesman said: “Normal children are bad for normal children. All the television children must be weird. Then all the children will be good.”

The original version of the ad showed the girl being even more normal by taking a bite out of the burger and then slowly spitting the lettuce onto her mother’s plate while giving her the V-sign.

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
A nice relaxing bath with some aromatic essential oils will be the perfect way to unwind at the end of the week. It may also get rid of that mackerel-y smell, too.

Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Your dealer has started cutting his weed with laxative. For shits and giggles.

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
You’d happily exchange ‘dying doing what you loved best’ for ‘living to the age of 130 doing something you’re ambivalent about’.

Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
If you had to express your level of pissed-off on Monday it’d be “The infinite monkey that made a typo in the last sentence of The Tempest‘.

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
Thought for the day – shouldn’t you be having more than one thought per day?

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Your kid’s hamster just died and you’ve run out of dusters. Sometimes the universe answers a question as soon as it is asked.

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
You take the warnings on alcohol bottles to ‘drink responsibly’ seriously by locking yourself in the ladies at work with a pack of breath mints before getting stuck in.

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Your living situation improves for the first time since the divorce as the guys at the storage warehouse finally allow you to have a kettle in the container you’ve been living in.

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
When that actor in The Big Bang Theory pretends to be weird he gets a million dollars an episode but when you do it to get out of your sister-in-law’s wedding you’re on the couch for a week.

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
If you really think you’re your own worst critic, just ask any person you know to give their honest opinion of you.

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
No, go on. Tell me again how much you, an adult, enjoyed a film with a talking raccoon in it.

Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
Rate This Horoscope Now? (Yes No Later Piss Off)

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