REAL-LIFE apprentices are acting like insane twats thanks to BBC One’s The Apprentice, it has been claimed.
The government is threatening to cut apprenticeship schemes unless young people stop using them as opportunities to promote their ridiculous, pathetic ‘personal brands’.
Garage owner Tom Booker said: “I had these two 17-year-old lads on a scheme, Mike and Steve or as they called themselves ‘Team Excelsior’ and ‘Team Deluxe’.
“I asked them to change a tyre and all they did was go off and invent a stupid energy drink called ‘Mind Pilot’.
“I gave them a massive bollocking but they just blamed each other so I sacked them both and they coldly thanked me ‘for the opportunity’ before wheeling off the suitcases that they had inexplicably brought with them.”
Plumber Stephen Malley said: “I can’t find an apprentice who isn’t obsessed with being ‘project manager’.
“They just keeping asking ‘Am I project manager? Am I project manager?
“Just shut up and hold the fucking spanner.”