Monday, 25th May 2020

Britain's expectant mums wishing she'd chosen something a bit less daft

EXPECTANT mothers who will now have to name their children Archie or Harrison are wishing Meghan had chosen something more normal.

Pregnant women recognise they have no option but to name their own children after the royal baby, but have admitted they were hoping for names that would not attract ridicule.

Joanna Kramer of Crewe said: “There’s a Harrison on our street. He siphons petrol from cars to make Molotov cocktails which he throws at trains. So I’m not delighted.

“The alternative is Archie which everyone knows is really the very dated name Archibald. So it looks like my child is going to grow up sounding like a pensioner on his way to bingo.

Eight-months-pregnant Donna Sheridan said: “I was either hoping for proper American, like Corey or Maverick or Kennedy, or something acceptably dull and English. This falls between two stools.

“Archie’s the kind of name a teenage mum gives her kid hoping he’ll wear glasses and do well at school. Harrison’s from Star Wars. They’ve fucked up.

“I’ve started saving up for the counselling my own Harrison will need after a lifetime of people saying ‘Where’s Chewbacca?’.”