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Britain’s oldest dogging site receives blue plaque

A CAR PARK just outside Hull has received a blue plaque from English Heritage for being the country’s oldest dogging site. 

The car park, conveniently located in woodland off the A63, has been in use by local deviants ever since motor vehicles first became popular in the 1930s.

Local dogger Martin Bishop said: “This is the greatest day for Hull’s dogging community since Janet managed to peel the tint off her car windows.

“Until now, this car park, which is free after 6pm, was where I came every Friday to peer into an Volvo V60 to watch a local butcher do his wife. I had no idea there was such history here.

“It’s genuinely moving to that generations of my family could have been coming here to watch strangers having public, loveless sex. Perhaps some of the older regulars even saw me conceived.

“This will really put Hull on the dogging map. We’ll have midde-aged overweight couples travelling from across the country to get at it at this historic site. I’ve got a stonk-on at the very thought.”

Local historian Eleanor Shaw said: “Now when my husband finds out I’ve been coming here since 1998 I can pass it off as research.”

Six items Amazon is suggesting you buy because you bought a smoke alarm three years ago

AMAZON’S algorithm, like an elephant, never forgets. And to this day it’s making helpful suggestions based on a 2018 smoke alarm purchase: 

Another smoke alarm

That first smoke alarm was just the beginning. Amazon are ready to help you become the lifelong superfan of smoke alarms you were born to be. Payday’s here, so get yourself a treat – a smoke alarm identical to the one you already have.

A 10-pack of smoke alarm batteries

The alarm we sold you back in 2018 was amazing and came with a guaranteed 10-year battery life. So why not stock up on a multipack to give your device a longer life expectancy than you?

A carbon monoxide alarm

A twist on the original: the same great design, a whole new danger to detect. Who cares if you ‘don’t own a solid fuel burning appliance’ or ‘already have one you bought in Tesco’, Amazon’s sure you’ll love it.

A three-pack of smoke alarms

You’ve previously shown interest in one smoke alarm, so there’s no way you won’t go apeshit for the incredible savings of three all together. Practical, stylish and the perfect Christmas gift, they really are so versatile.

That Jeremy Clarkson farm programme

God, will they never stop trying to sell you this shit?

A smart internet-connected carbon monoxide detector and smoke alarm for £92.98

That was the problem. The previous suggestions weren’t expensive enough. Bet you’ve already clicked Buy Now on this premium item. If we know you at all.