Busker instantly regrets playing one of his own songs

TOWN centre busker Tom Booker has abandoned one of his own songs halfway through.

In a departure from his usual set of rock classics from the sixties to the Britpop era, 32-year-old Booker began playing the self-penned Asteroids.

He said: “I wrote this one for my amazing girlfriend Becky, who’s in work at the minute.”

But upon singing the chorus for the second time, Booker realised that no money would be forthcoming and switched to Wonderwall by Oasis.

Shopper Roy Hobbs said: “He’s got a cracking wee voice. But no one wants to hear him singing some shite about his girlfriend when they’re on their way to work.

“You want to hear a good song.”

Booker said: “I’m sure my girlfriend would have thrown a couple of quid in the guitar case, if she were here.

“Though I did already borrow £2 off her this morning for the bus, so maybe not.”

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Merkel: Germany has never done anything wrong

IN A time of economic crisis it falls to that exemplar of nations, Germany, to explain how to be completely faultless to others.

Yes, it is not easy to understand failings like Greece’s when your own nation has literally never done a single thing wrong within Europe, as everyone knows.

When ordinary Greeks say, “How did we get into this mess?” I tell them they cannot merely blame their politicians. That they, the people, are responsible for the will of their nation.

Germany has been, for much of European history up to 1914 and post-1945, a wise nation and a good neighbour to others.

Look at the facts: we have never been technically invaded by any nation sharing our borders, proving that they have always been perfectly happy with us.

There can be no criticism of our recent conduct in the last 70 years, if you exclude East Germany, but there are nations out there without the Deutschland’s ambition, its fighting spirit.

Nations that could never bend an entire continent to their iron will, not of course that Germany ever would, apart from on the present occasion.

Does my hair look iconic to you?