Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Cat considering charging you rent

A CAT has confirmed that it is considering charging its owner rent to cover the amount of time he is spending in its house. 

Five-year-old black cat Steve Malley said that he was initially willing to take the hit given the circumstances, but now this seems permanent he has little choice.

He continued: “The first couple of weeks, I was like ‘Oh, okay, you’re here all day again. Like yesterday, and the day before. Fine. I’ll cope.

“And yeah, I guess I took advantage and got a few extra treats. But given that this isn’t going away, I think we need to move things onto a more formal basis.

“Let’s start it at an extra £235 a week, with the understanding that I get first refusal on all patches of sunlight and you knock before coming into the back yard.”

He added: “I can go out and get that virus you’re so frightened of and bring it back here this afternoon. Deal on the rent? Deal.”