Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough, says Angel of the North

THE Angel of the North has challenged statue topplers to plant it right f**king there if they have a f**king problem. 

The Antony Gormley sculpture in Gateshead, which is 66ft tall with a 177ft wingspan, has informed protesters that they will get the hiding of a lifetime if they try.

It continued: “Come on. I’m f**king waiting.

“Don’t get this wrong. I’m down with the cause. But if you’re coming for us massive public erections, I’m ready. 

“Man up and take on a real bloody landmark. I’ll hammer you wankers into the ground like tentpegs. 600 tonnes of concrete. 200 tonnes of steel. Bring it.”

The sculpture then goaded Britain by flapping its wings like a chicken and making a loud clucking noise.

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How to talk bollocks about Black Lives Matter

DETERMINED to have an opinion about Black Lives Matter protests but woefully ill-informed? Share these moronic opinions:

White lives matter

Well, yes, but crucially nobody is saying they don’t. While US police murdering black people with inpunity kind of makes a stong statement in the other direction. It’s like ending slavery for white people was never that big a deal.

I don’t understand what all the fuss is about

Trivialise racism and grievances about Windrush by pretending to be spectacularly thick and unobservant. Things like: ‘If you ask me, they’ve got too much time on their hands and need jobs’ are perfect in these COVID times.

Black people did slavery too

So if everyone does shit it’s fine? It’s fine to not pay tax because Al Capone didn’t? See how far that gets you, as your weary solicitor rolls their eyes and thinks about lunch.

Get yourself over to Mail Online

Sick of people in real life discussing BLM in a considered way? There’s none of that in the anonymised cesspit which is Daily Mail comments. Log on NOW and demand all protesters are tied to posts and used for bayonet practise by the army.

White people suffer racism too

Do they bollocks. Granted, there’s the odd nasty incident, but you’re not arsed about making a serious point because your loopy definition of racism is someone on Twitter using the word ‘gammon’.