Controversial houseshare advert specifies ‘no d*ckheads’

AN advertisement for a fourth person to share a London flat has sparked controversy by asking d*ckheads not to apply. 

The advert, for ‘large room, Acton semi-detached, close to tube, friendly housemates’, has angered the capital’s large and vocal d*ckhead community by excluding them from consideration.

D*ckhead Tom Booker said: “What the hell? What, just because I’m a massive d*ckhead doesn’t mean I’m a person too?

“Do I steal my housemates’ food? Absolutely. Will I have coked-up parties with my mates on a Tuesday night? Certainly. Will I leave my bike locked to the hall radiator, making it impossible to pass? It’s my trademark.

“But to bar me, along with so many of my d*ckhead friends, from decent accommodation is discrimination pure and simple. And we can’t live together because they’re such d*ckheads.

“An advert like this anywhere would be bad enough. But in London, where so many of us moved to be the d*ckheads we couldn’t be at home? It’s heartbreaking.”

Carolyn Ryan, who placed the original advert, said: “I’m sorry. But the guy who moved in turned out to be an absolutely definitive d*ckhead anyway, so it’s fine.”