COUPLES with televisions in the bedroom enjoy better and more frequent sex by proxy, it has emerged.
Households with bedroom TVs experienced more than three times as many sex acts at one remove than those who read books or surfed the internet.
Housewife Susan Traherne said: “We’re watching Scandal, True Blood and Californication like a couple of wild-libidoed maniacs until four in the morning. We just can’t get enough.”
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Sex in real life can’t live up to the sex in movies and on TV.
“It rarely has a smoky saxophone soundtrack, let alone moonlight casting slatted shadows on two writhing naked bodies on perfect dishevelled white sheets.
“Perhaps there was a place for first-person intercourse before HD and Blu-Ray, but certainly it’s over now.”