TOP GCSE grades are an impressive achievement for students but deathly dull to everyone else. These people don’t care if someone got a 9 or a 1.
Employers
Can you plod through an uninspiring job without messing things up constantly? Are you fairly cheap to employ? Yes? Then employers couldn’t care less how well you did in an exam years ago. Maybe take your GCSE grades off your CV and say you’re ‘passionate about spreadsheets’ instead.
Oxford University admissions tutors
This top university says it takes GCSE results into account, but if you’ve been coached to bullshit your way through the entrance exams you’ll be fine. If not, they won’t really be amazed by the 9 you got in humanities and award you a place. London South Bank will though.
Romantic partners
Intelligence is sexy, but bringing up old exam results on a date in an attempt to look brainy is tragic. It’s even worse if you talk about your GCSEs because it looks like your life peaked when you were 16 and it’s been downhill ever since. Even though this is true, keep it to yourself.
Other GCSE students
After they’ve glanced at their results and gone ‘cool’, most GCSE students won’t give them a second thought because even they know they’re not a big deal. They won’t even talk about their grades to their mates because they’re too busy sourcing cheap alcohol and attending the sort of house parties you were never invited to.
Parents
University degrees are impressive, and A-Levels grades can be life-changing, but parents don’t really give a toss about GCSE results. They’ll make all the right noises, but really they’re wondering how your triumphant grad 9 in film studies will help you in a proper job like corporate accountant.
