FAT girls are having the best day ever after a scientist said all the skinny girls were going to die first.
Across Britain big women cracked opened fresh tubs of ice cream as new research found that people with giant thighs are somehow healthier than people without giant thighs.
Emma Bradford, 18-stone of girlmeat from Doncaster, said: "You may have skinny little legs Nikki Hollis, but in 20 years time you'll be dead and I'll be the one bouncing up and down on your boyfriend until he bursts.
"I'll be thinking of you as my giant thighs almost smother his grinning face. Then I'll put on my massive pants and make him a big, sexy breakfast of sausages and pies."
Emma warned that acquiring a healthy set of thighs takes a lot of hard work and would not happen overnight, but advised would-be thigh perfectionists to start with a box-set of One Tree Hill and an enormous amount of Pringles.
The thigh boost comes just 24 hours after a magazine published a naked photograph of an attractive woman with at least two chins and a belly.
Dr Margaret Gerving, director of the Simply Be Foundation, said: "We have been saying for years that big girls offer much better value for money.
"They live longer, they have stronger personalities, they clean their plate and they can take several days to explore."
She added: "Now then, who's up for a chocolate sandwich?"