Father praised for looking after child for four whole hours

A MAN has won plaudits for looking after his daughter for a whole afternoon without supervision from his wife.

Tom Logan watched his three-year old from 1pm until nearly teatime all by himself, an experience he described as “exhausting but strangely uplifting”.

Logan said: “I got to spend some quality time with little Amber watching television, and my wife had more time to prepare dinner, so it was win-win all round.

“Persuading Amber to switch from Teletubbies to Breaking Bad wasn’t easy, and I had to keep explaining the plot, but I think she’ll thank me one day.”

Logan added: “I’d like to think I’m an inspiration to other modern, progressive dads who want to help raise their children from time to time.”

Logan’s wife Sarah said: “Here we are, four hours later, and she’s still alive, if a bit traumatised by Breaking Bad. He really is very special.”

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Anywhere getting snow must have done something to deserve it, say southerners

THE north of England and Scotland are only getting snow because they have done something terrible, southerners believe. 

The snows which have fallen across Scotland and the north are probably punishment for lack of economic success or backward political views, according to the righteous.

Helen Archer, from Gloucester, said: “I live in a nice area, I work hard, and the climate here is balmy and pleasant. That’s not coincidence.

“Perhaps this latest snowfall will make them clean up their act and start doing things right, but I doubt it. Sadly, they just don’t want to learn.”

London estate agent Stephen Malley agreed: “Apparently it’s not just snow, it’s hail, which you would think would bang the message into their thick heads.

“I don’t know exactly what they’ve done wrong but there’s no doubt they’ve brought this on themselves.”

Northerner Tom Logan said: “Aye, lad, divvn’ be nesh, only a bit o’ snow.

“This is exactly the kind of thing they mean, isn’t it?”