PEOPLE with allotments are reeling from the discovery that vegetables can be bought with cash.
Allotments have become very popular among young middle class people who have never heard of grocery shops.
Emma Bradford, A 31-year-old architect, said: “There’s a 2,000 year waiting list for allotments in my area. I only got one after agreeing to a three-way with two old men called Reg and Roy.
“An allotment is endless days of digging, raking and watering, all for a manky lettuce that looks like it’s been blasted with a shotgun.
“So you can imagine my horror when I cycled home past a building that was literally full of fucking vegetables.
“The ‘greengrocer’ said I could buy as many of them as I wanted. They were cheap too. I went back to my allotment and peed on it.”
Stephen Malley, a 36-year-old allotment holder, said: “Apparently I could have gone to one these shops and bought a sackful of carrots for a few quid.
“But what I want to know is do they taste the same? Or do they just taste very, very similar?”