Gay cake converted entire tray of bread rolls to homosexuality

A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.

Seeded bap Tom Booker was one of 18 identical bread rolls left to cool beside a homosexual cake made for a gay wedding.

Booker said: “The cake was asking us what sort of music we were into. I said classic rock, like Fleetwood Mac and Dire Straits, and it laughed then suggested should I check out Scissor Sisters and 80s hi-NRG disco.

“As the chat progressed it asked if I had ever been with a man bap. I said that was wrong but the cake said that’s just what the baker tells you to make you behave around customers.”

Baker Norman Steele said: “I came in to pick up the cake and all the bread rolls were having gay sex with each other.

“The way that works is that two bread rolls squeeze together like buttocks and another one gets in between and makes groaning noises.

“I can’t sell them now.”

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Work experience student 'surprised' to be made Trident launch button supervisor

A 15-YEAR-OLD boy was told to sit at the Trident missile controls and not press anything, it has emerged.

Work experience student Stephen Malley expressed surprise at being put in control of Britain’s nuclear arsenal, especially as he only applied to the navy because it sounded marginally better than Lidl.

He said: “The officer was like, ‘I’ve got to pick my kid up from a roller skating party, sit here and don’t touch anything, unless someone calls that telephone and says ‘the falcon is in the nest’ in which case the sequence is red-yellow-red’.

“I was a bit surprised but I said okay because taking responsibility is something I want to mention on my UCAS form.”

He said: “It’s weird though because after you’ve looked at a big red button for half an hour you do really want to press it.

“Starting World War III is probably bad, but on the other hand it would be something to show off about on social media.”