ACADEMICALLY exceptional people are lying about their inability to do everyday domestic tasks, it has emerged.
Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that geniuses were quite capable of looking after themselves and simply promoted the idea they were somehow childlike to avoid doing the washing up.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Every genius from Einstein to Turing has relied upon someone else to do their washing up and wash their pants, revelling in the paradox that super-clever people somehow can’t do simple, boring tasks.
“Clearly this is bollocks – if you can unlock the secrets of the universe using only a piece of chalk and a blackboard you are quite capable of pushing a mower up and down a lawn, or cleaning a toilet.”
When asked by his wife to put out the rubbish, Einstein would deliberately empty the bin on the kitchen floor and pretend he did not understand how bins or rubbish worked.
Mathematician Mary Fisher said: “I do fuck all at home because I pretend to be brilliantly eccentric.
“When my partner asks me to hoover up I just say I can’t because I function on a different level to the rest of humanity, like Russell Crowe in that film. Not Gladiator, the one where he does maths.”