MINISTERS have confirmed plans to build affordable shithole houses across the UK.
Over 200,000 shitholes will be constructed this year, 142,000 of which will fall down with six months.
A government spokesman said: “We’re really flinging these things up, we’re cutting a few corners along the way but then who needs a roof when the weather will probably be okay for a bit now.
“The building firms are getting paid so that’s the main thing.”
Homebuyer Susan Traherne said: “We bought a two-bed semi on a new estate called ‘Countrydale’.
“It looked lovely in the pictures but when we moved in we found it had no windows and every room was a bathroom. It’s like one of those trippy Escher pictures where you can’t tell up from down.”
The government spokesman added: “It’s a house and it’s under a quarter of a million. Do you want fucking jam on it?”