Workmate reveals wild side by discussing tattoo he will never get

A MAN has given workmates a glimpse of his wild side by discussing a tattoo that he will never get.

Tom Booker divulged during a team lunch that he is agonising over whether to mark his body with Bob Dylan lyrics or a line from a poem he studied for his GCSEs, although he will never do either.

He also discussed plans to travel through South America, learn the drums and watch the film Synecdoche, New York.

Colleague Nikki Hollis said: “I’d always thought Tom was a bit of a dick because he sends emails about recycling, but I realise now that’s a ruse to conceal his bad-boy spirit and rich, nuanced character.

“I might try to hit that on our work night out next week.”

Teammate and grandfather-of-two Roy Hobbs, 54, also attended the lunch but did not disclose that he is undergoing laser treatment to remove a tattoo of the band Twisted Sister that covers his entire back.

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Kid from Year 8 knocks out kid from Year 10

A BOY from Year 8 has won a fight with a boy two years his senior, it has been confirmed.

12-year-old Wayne Hayes was confronted by 14-year-old Nathan Muir during lunch break, where Muir highlighted that Hayes’s shoes were ‘proper gay’.

After a brief period of shoving, the situation developed into a fight which Hayes somehow won.

Hayes’s classmate Tom Booker said: “I don’t know how Nathan is going to come back from that.

“He should probably change schools or move to America or something. This will probably be the reason he becomes a policeman one day.”

He added: “Just goes to show it’s not the size of the dog in the fight but the fight in the dog, as the wise old kids say in Year 11.”

Teacher Mr Logan said: “I do feel sorry for him. The rest of this school year Nathan’s just going to be told ‘yeah, but you got banged out by that kiddie in Year 10’.

“Which is only right I suppose because that is what happened.”