Gran’s ‘wise’ advice actually total bollocks

A GRANDMOTHER’S advice on everything from cooking to men is complete bollocks, it has emerged.

88-year-old Mary Fisher is regularly assumed to have extensive experience-based wisdom but has actually just led a boring life for a very long period of time.

Granddaughter Katy Fisher said: “Due to gran’s age and kindly appearance I’d always thought advice like soaking your socks in vinegar before washing them was not complete arse.

“However I started the ‘wisdom’ that was ‘passed down’ from her mum is total drivel. For example, there’s no way sucking on a thimble can cure a migraine.

“She also told me to always agree with men because they’re intimidated by intelligent women. That cost me a relationship with a lovely, interesting guy who thought I was just very stupid.

“And recently I discovered steak is much nicer fried or grilled than boiled in brine for three hours.”

However Mary Fisher said: “When you put your washing out you should always tie a knot in your jumpers to stop badgers wearing them. Badgers are notorious jumper thieves.”