IDS unveils sinister island theme park

IAIN Duncan Smith has invited the first visitors to the island theme park based on his vision of the perfect society.

The man-made island in the Thames estuary features electric fences, rottweilers and machine gun towers to stop people getting in for free.

The work and pension secretary said: “IDS Island is a magical place.

“Every morning at 5am all the disabled people go to work with big smiles on their faces. They know to be happy because otherwise we put triangular wheels on their wheelchairs.

“Everyone has a proper job like breaking rocks and gluing them back together. Or they can work in the punishment centres for people who refuse to participate in rockfare.”

Visitors praised the strong work ethic of IDS Island, although some said the experience was marred by the inescapable smell of roasting meat because 90 percent of the island is fast food outlets.

Tom Logan, a hard-working taxpayer, said: “Some aspects did seem a bit pointless. Is ‘dog puncher’ a real job?”