YES, this week has seen the pound fall in value and the economy tank, but I’m still going to vote Tory because I like the misery.
Britain has a proud history of making everything unbearable – both at home and abroad – so I’m not going to break with tradition by voting for a party that might make housing semi-affordable and nationalise energy. It’d be unpatriotic.
Instead, come 2024, I’ll put a tick in the box for whichever party promises to tank the country even further. And unless the opposition decides to reinstate Corbyn, I’m left with no choice but to vote Tory.
Maybe it’s because I grew up in the Seventies. My memories of strikes and no electricity are clouded with nostalgia instead of the crushing hardship it actually involved. But I think it toughened me up. It’s not true that I whine like a little baby if we have a power cut nowadays and I can’t charge my iPad, whatever my wife says.
Young people now are so entitled that they want a pleasant, meaningful life. But that’s not what it’s all about. It’s supposed to be a bitter slog you drag yourself through. The only highlights should be writing in the Mail Online comments section and the prospect of death.
So I’m voting Tory. Or maybe UKIP, as that will have the double misery of being a wasted vote as well as a stupid one. Bliss.