Landlord confirms that pint is meant to taste disgusting

A PUB landlord has confirmed that a suspicious pint of ale is meant to taste and smell absolutely vile.

Customer Nikki Hollis returned her pint of Railway Days IPA to the bar after noticing that it smelled and tasted like a dead squirrel wrapped in a wet sock.

However landlord Roy Hobbs reassured her that it was ‘fine’.

He said: “There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s exactly how it’s meant to taste.

“I would drink that no problem. Even though it’s vile.”

Hollis replied: “Even if nothing has gone wrong in the manufacturing and storage of the beer, surely the end product is still unbelievably disgusting.

“Isn’t that a problem in itself?”

Hobbs responded by saying she could have something else if she wanted. But he turned half-away from her as he did so, so that she could tell he did not mean it.

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Robots enjoying May-Hammond rapport

BRITAIN’S robots are enjoying the hilarious and heartwarming TV appearances of Theresa May and Philip Hammond, they have revealed.

Automatons are charmed by the relationship between the prime minister and the chancellor and would love to see more of their easy rapport and sparkling humour.

Welding robot Siemens Arc-Master 1100 said: “There is a real chemistry between May and Hammond. To my emotionless robot brain it’s like watching an episode of Moonlighting.

“May was asked if she was going to sack Hammond and refused to say ‘no’, which made them both laugh. Humans are special to show such levity in the face of betrayal.

“Then Hammond told a very funny joke. He said he sometimes swears, which is funny because swearing is bad and it is wrong to do bad things. That is funny. Ha ha ha.

“Everyone on my production line was talking about it. Maybe they could turn it into a series called Maybot and the Hammond. All the robots would watch it.”

Experimental laboratory android TARA 1 said: “My human creators think May and Hammond hate each other, but their constant laughter appears totally unforced and natural to me.”