DISFIGURED crack dealer Stephen Malley has been elected police commissioner for Gloucestershire.
Independent candidate Malley won with four votes, or 80% of the entire vote for the county, after a successful campaign in which he threatened to burn his neighbours’ house down.
Malley, whose colourful past includes losing an eye in a machete duel, said: “In the past the police and I haven’t always been on the same wavelength, especially after I strangled someone with barbed wire.
“At the time I said I didn’t do it, but now I’m a boss copper I suppose I can come clean. What am I going to do – arrest myself? Also that was a long time ago.
“I feel very strongly about the legalisation of murder, although only for people who owe me money.
“Also I want to see more relaxed controls on fully automatic weapons, including anti-aircraft guns.
“And I’m going to be very tough on rival drug gangs. Obviously not on my own drug gang, that would be idiotic.”
Malley likes to spend his spare time in his heavily-fortified detached home ‘with a load of prozzies’.
He said: “I love my dogs, they’re called Scorpion, ‘Da Boss’, and Quickfire.
“In fact, I’m changing the law so that you don’t need to have pitbulls on a lead and if they attack anyone the victim pays a cash fine.”