Man awkwardly awaits fist bump

A MAN has been left awkwardly waiting for a response to his offer of a fist bump, it has emerged.

Tom Logan bumped into work colleague Martin Bishop this weekend and after enjoying a pint together Logan left, offering a ‘fist bump’ as a parting gesture.

Logan said: “He looked at me like I’d just taken my knob out.

“Then he said ‘Do you do that do you?’ I didn’t know what to say so I just left my fist there and stared at him.

“Eventually he walked off. I suppose that’s what advertisers call a ‘fist bump moment’.

“It’s more of a lonely feeling than I’d imagined.”

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Enchanting football fairytale had better not happen twice, warns Premier League

THE Premier League has celebrated Leicester City’s fairytale title win by warning smaller teams not to get any ideas.

The League has greeted Leicester’s 5,000-1 win, which has captivated sports fans around the world, as a wonderful opportunity to promote more established brands like Manchester United. 

A spokesman said: “Wow, what an incredible one-off, fluke victory for a club nobody expected to win, with the emphasis very much on one-off and fluke. 

“Who knows what could happen next year? Will it be Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, or Spurs, or will we be forced to take legal action? 

“Settle down, Swansea City. Calm yourselves, Crystal Palace. The Premier League is not to be won by UK-owned teams who have done nothing to build their fanbase in Eastern markets. 

“A reputation as a league where low-spending minnows can consistently triumph means less money for all of us. 

“La la la, magical fairytale sprinkling stardust. Right. Dreams away. Back to work.”