A MAN is filled with dread at the thought of a month filled with tortuous social situations.
Martin Bishop is experiencing horror and nausea as he prepares a series of events involving co-workers, clients, extended family and, worst of all, his neighbours.
Bishop said: “Jesus got nailed to a cross but it was over in an afternoon. How would he have coped with 31 days of lukewarm wine, manky little pies and stilted conversations?
“For the next month, I have to be ‘nice’ because there’s a sparkly tree in the corner of the room.”
Bishop added: “This year, instead of pretending to be interested in anything anyone has to say, I’ll just say exactly what I think.
“It will mean that next Christmas I’ll be unemployed, living in a tent on a windy Welsh hillside and be completely on my own.
“I cannot wait.”