Man who has never given to charity thinks Oxfam scandal proves he was right to be such a tight arse

A MAN who has never donated money to charity has been proven right by the Oxfam sex scandal, he has confirmed.

Norman Steele, from Bedford, said: “I knew deep down, something like this was going on.

“And yes, it would be easy to say I just didn’t give anything because I’m incredibly tight with money, to the point were my own wedding was ‘BYOB’, but that’s not the whole reason.

“I just had a gut feeling that deep down, Help the Aged, Help For Heroes, the Cats’ Protection League, they were all being run by gangsters and/or paedophile rings.

“Just imagine what they would have been spending it on, if God forbid, I ever, even once gave them any money.”

Steele added that he he does not give money to the homeless because they all secretly own jet skis and the one time he bought one of them a sandwich, the man screamed that he ‘didn’t want a sandwich, he wanted a crack needle full of speed pills’.

Steele said: “That definitely happened.”