A MAN watching pornography has been completely taken out of the whole experience by a so-called MILF who has obviously never even unfolded a pushchair.
Porn fan and stickler for realism Stephen Malley was drawn to ‘MILF’s Wild Ride’ by the promise of a tired, overworked mother fornicating, but was left cold by a woman without bags under her eyes from watching Ben & Holly from 5am.
He said: “The star was in her 30s, certainly, so motherhood wasn’t out of the question. But where was the sigh of resignation when she realised an erect cock had been added to her to-do list?
“Why the eagerness, when her expression should have been one of grim resignation throughout? She orgasmed without even listening for the washing machine’s spin cycle ending. That’s not believable.
“Then I realised – this wasn’t a mother. She’s never scrubbed vomit off carpets at 3am. She’s never sat through a nativity play. She’s not familiar with the business end of a nit comb.
“I couldn’t believe in the piece. Motivations, character, tits, nothing. Typical Pornhub. Half of its pizza delivery men are in non-regulation uniform.
“There’s just no respect for the consumer. It must be why I feel so ashamed afterwards.”
