Monday, 8th March 2021

Millennial convinced pensions are a joke

A MILLENNIAL has been left in a state of shock after being informed that pensions are real.

27-year-old Ryan Whittaker had to lie down in a darkened room after discovering that the concept of putting aside money for retirement was not a sick prank designed to wind up young people.

Whittaker said: “My parents were talking about how much cash they had already squirrelled away at my age so I laughed and said ‘Yeah, good one’ which attracted some strange looks.

“Turns out they’ve been doing it every month for years. Their work even has a special scheme that tops it up. My job as a freelance barista artist doesn’t seem to have that, for some reason.

“Apparently on top of rent, bills and saving up for a house deposit, I’m also meant to put away 10% of my earnings to live on when I’m old. Having done the sums that leaves me with minus £80 per month to play with.

“Still, if they’ve got all this spare cash stashed away they probably won’t mind me living with them until I’m 50. Thanks mum and dad.”